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Here Are 5 Secrets You Should Never Keep From Your Spouse

As Christians, none of us would argue that the healthiest of marriages are those filled with honesty, authenticity, and transparency. When it comes to the important aspects of life, we would certainly all agree that there is no room in marriage for lies and deceit.

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But many times the greatest enemy of honesty is not necessarily “dishonesty” ,but rather, a lack of communication. When it comes to day-to-day life in marriage, many people struggle to find the words, or more common yet, to find the time to commit to good communication and dialogue.

Yet in order to maintain an intimate relationship, making time to talk and be real with one another is crucial, because communication is the lifeline of a relationship. Even in the busier seasons of life, there are certain things that must ALWAYS make the cut when it comes to genuinely sharing your heart with one another.

Past Secrets: If you’ve been married for quite some time, yet find yourself still holding on to secrets from your past, I recommend you start here. As a professional counselor, I urge the couples I work with in pre-marital counseling to work through the “skeletons in their closet” long before they say I do. Sexual history, drugs/alcohol history, abuse history, family history, are all the kind of things you need to come to terms with in your own life, and then share them with your partner. Your past doesn’t define you, but it definitely shapes you, and you owe it to your partner to give them a glimpse of the things that have made you who you are today – the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Sexual Secrets: Whether you have a habitual problem with sexual struggles, or whether it’s a once-in-awhile thing, the worst thing you can do for your marriage is keep it a secret. Because in the secret is where struggles become strongholds. The devil is a liar, and longs for you to stay quiet about your struggles with masturbation, adultery, pornography, lust, and sexual sins because it is in the silence that you will continue to struggle. I know people who have struggled with sexual sin for years upon years under the hopes that they could eventually get it “under control.” But healing can only happen when we bring our struggles into the light. If you’re married and find yourself struggling with an aspect of sexual sin, talk to your spouse, and then tell a trusted mentor, a counselor, and seasoned friend who can all work to support and love you through the nitty-gritty that comes with healing and freedom.

Financial Secrets: Do you have a habit of spending, and then hiding? Hiding receipts, bills, or even hiding purchases from your spouse? When it comes to finances in marriage, everything should always be out on the table. Financial dishonesty is one of the most common “secrets” in marriage, and causes stress that has been linked to a higher level of dissatisfaction in marriage as well as divorce. The bottom line is that marriage isn’t about my finances, or your finances, it’s about OUR finances. Learning to become “one” in all things means that there is no room for financial secrets. If finances have led to frequent arguments and conflict in your relationship, it’s time to take inventory of your spending habits as a couple, by inviting a professional counselor as well as a financial advisor into your situation so you can take back control and create an atmosphere of transparency in your marriage.

Health-Related Secrets: I’ve interacted with couples who tend to keep their health issues to themselves. Usually, it comes from a place of good intention, in that they are trying to “save” their spouse from the stress of worrying about their health. But the beauty of marriage is that it gives us the opportunity to love and support one another through times of sickness and times of health. As difficult as it is to potentially walk through illness or health-related problems, those times of difficulty offer an opportunity for intimate connection, companionship, and support from one spouse to another. Whether or not it’s important to you personally, be honest and upfront about your medical issues and concerns, and allow your spouse the opportunity to walk by your side.

Relationship Secrets: Even couples who have no problem being honest in the above categories, can sometimes find themselves struggling to share their true heart and feelings about their relationship. When it comes to your marriage, what are your relational needs and are they being met? Are you able to open up about your sexual desires, your emotional needs, and your goals and dreams? Can you share your opinions and ideas without the fear of feeling rejected or criticised? Can you talk about what you want, and on the flip side, listen to the things that your partner is longing for you to work on in the relationship?

No matter what your reasoning for avoiding communication about certain topics with your spouse, remember that even well-intentioned secrets are secrets that will eventually wreak havoc on your marriage. Dishonesty, or even simply a lack of communication will impact intimacy and connection with your partner. It’s never too late to start putting the time, effort, and courage it takes to be transparent with your spouse.

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10 Steps To Walk Away From An Abusive Relationship And Moving On

  • What is an abuse.
  • Avoid early death and old age
  • Accept and move on.
  • Causes of abusive relationships.
  • Solutions to walking out of  them.

An abuse is the use of something in a way that is wrong or harmful. An abusive relationship is a kind of union whereby one person suffers the most instead of gaining or benefiting from the relationship itself. An abusive relationship is never healthy since it can lead to cases of stigmatization, death, suicide, fear, low self esteem and loss of hope.

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Some of the reasons why some people stay in such like relationships are because of poverty, religious beliefs, single parenthood, embarrassment, pressure and believing it is normal. However one should walk out of an abusive relationship because at the end of the day you need to protect your future. Will you die by leaving the relationship or will you like to take the risk ?

Avoid your early death by loving and respecting yourself then others will.

Many couples love complaining that the opposite partner has weaknesses that cannot be solved or maybe they have just refused to change. If an abuse becomes a habit, it will be very difficult to stop it. The best thing to do is walk out.

Forms of abuse include : emotional, financial and physical abuse. One major factor that causes these to take place is the act of being desperate and you feel like it is your partner alone that can work out solutions for you. You fear your friends knowing that a celebrity is slapping you everyday and your excuse for your red cheeks that used to be moist are that the kind of facial creams you use nowadays are expired! You are being abused.

Causes of abusive relationships start with a small misunderstanding that later develop to arguments and comparison of intelligence based on matters education, one starts feeling disrespected yet expects to be obeyed. It is also caused by dictatorship and family backgrounds. Abusive relationships cannot be treated they can be managed by simply loving yourself and going your way.  It is also noted that in today’s world both parties are involved: Men and Women. The following are steps on how to quit an abusive relationship:


The most important thing in life is to always admit that there are things which you cannot handle or manage. They are just beyond  your control and no matter how much you have struggled with them, you do not see your hard work bearing fruit. Accepting that you have a weakness helps you to know more about yourself and professionals will help you out. Accept that you are being abused and you have no say over it.


Bring it to their attention that you have been patient enough with him or her and can no longer take it. If he is the kind of furious person, hide and disappear, go to a far place maybe to one of your strict family members house that he cannot reach or fear  seeing. The world is nowadays digital and you can block his contacts from your mobile phones. Deny him any chances of seeing you or meeting you because he can convince you to come back. If he is the changing kind of a guy make sure you distance yourself from him and see if he is willing to change.


There must be that one or two persons that you can share your secrets with in your life. Find them and explain your situation. Listen to their genuine advice and weigh what is best for you. Of course the caring ones will tell you to leave and find another option. If some tell you to stay it will be for the obvious reason to weigh your partner and give him time. Be wise.


You have a bright future ahead, do not allow him or her to frustrate you because he or she is well off. Never be controlled by abuse. It is the worse feeling ever. Do not make him feel like he owns you and you cannot do without him. If for sure your life is in God’s hand and man cannot determine your destiny. It was never meant to be so don’t go on forcing it in the name of ”lets give it a try once again”, because you are giving yourself physical torture and the sooner you realize it, you are worn out and old. People will start walking away from you.


Most people fear moving on with life. Forget about the luxurious wedding you did and how it made news in the TV, whether he was a celebrity or not, how will you manage it financially without him?, that shame of going back to your mother’s house and your community making you the gossip of the year, don’t forget the church will talk. So? Will they talk forever or are you the first one to go back to your  family? Face the Goliath and God will also help you. Be courageous, read the Bible, change your church if you cannot manage the stigmatization and sleep a lot. Go close to funny friends who can crack your ribs, laugh laugh laugh.


Don’t be so rushy with another relationship or commitment. You can have as many male friends as you want who can give you moral support but don’t be so easy to give them your heart. Study him critically and be honest with yourself. Don’t be carried out by simple surprises that happen when the sun rises but when the sun sets they are no more. Have a walk with God and let him control your emotions. Talk little and listen keenly to advices from your parents. Lastly listen to your right conscious and the voice of the Holy spirit.


Listen frequently to stories from people who have gone through the same ordeal because truth be told you are not the first neither the last to have faced such an experience. However, don’t be surprised that yours was a minor occurrence and theirs big ones. We get encouraged by our friends’ problems since we realize ours were at least than theirs. Surprisingly you will one day be encouraging another person on the same. The next time you engage into another relationship you will be well  informed.


Forget about him, that he ever existed and broke your heart or tortured you. Forgive and forget, pray for him or her, and leave revenge to God. You will realize that with time you have fully recovered and you no longer suffer jealousy at the thought that he may be dating someone else since it is none of your business you get to sympathize with the next person your ex torturer is currently dating. There must be that one special person who can make you happy. Joy comes in the morning and life must continue.


There are some things that human beings don’t understand why God let them happen. It is at such times that people question God a lot and even doubt if he ever exists and if he does why go through hell on earth? Well with time you have learnt that God had a reason and that ,man was never yours and you have to let go. The best part of it is when light comes into your eyes and it is dawning in you that men are not the same. Anyway such like things makes you strong in life and you emerge to be victorious.


It is high time that you one day met your former abruptly all of a sudden. Don’t get shocked how he has lost weight. He sees you with your new guy and how your life has improved and he is like is this for real? Yes it is for real because he was just a path you had to path by to your destiny. Also known as preparing way for the coming Messiah!!! You feel refreshed and ready to face life again this time more careful and charged up. Don’t forget, self respect is paramount.




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Marriage Is Bigger Than You: 5 Reasons Why You Should Stick To Your Marriage

I’m not going to lie and pretend that marriage is an easy road, because it’s not.But nothing worthwhile comes “easy.” I’m a Licensed Professional Counselor, specializing in marriage and relationships, I always tell my marriage and pre-marriage couples that at some point, we ALL WANT OUT. Because we’re human, and there’s no one human being on earth that will give us everything we need. Marriage is work- but working on your marriage is the best work you will ever do.

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Here’s why:

1. Because marriage isn’t just about making us happier- it’s about making us better.

When we go into marriage with the idea that it is meant for our happiness, we will be disappointed every…single….time. There is no human being on earth that has the capability to bring that kind of joy into our lives, because they weren’t made to have that role in our lives.

Real marriage is not about being happy and fulfilled for the rest of our lives, it’s about becoming the best that we can be from this day forward. Only through the un-replicated commitment and intimacy of marriage do we have the opportunity for lifelong growth, maturity, selflessness, forgiveness, and grace as we learn to unconditionally love another flawed human being; seeing their realness, and loving them anyway.

But harder yet, we learn to receive that kind of love for ourselves. There is no greater love than one that’s unconditional. And no matter what our family background or story, I am thankful that Jesus models that kind of love for us every single day.

At the end of the day, marriage is not about ME…it’s about WE. It’s about learning to choose another person over ourselves- because by choosing them, we are choosing to become greater in humility, strength, forgiveness, and love. Marriage isn’t just about becoming happier- it’s about becoming better. But ironically, in becoming better, we often find that we’ve also become happier.

2. Because marriage is synonymous with commitment, and commitment is a choice.

Tim Keller says that “real love, the Bible says, instinctively desires permanence.” There is so much truth to that statement because deep down we are all made for life-long love. We have a deep desire to be known, and to be loved, for life. But when we simply follow our feelings into marriage, we can also follow our feelings right out of marriage. Just as quickly as you fall in love, you can fall out of love. Because feelings come, and feelings go, and those who build the foundation of their marriage on how they feel will certainly find their marriage crumbling. I choose to handle marriage because I know that my feelings are fickle, but my faith is not. My emotions may fail me, but my choices are always up to me. I choose to love, to trust, to forgive, and to remain. Because it’s far too easy to follow our hearts, but it takes courage to lead our hearts.

3. Because marriage forces us to take ownership of our choices.

In marriage, I am forced to come face to face with my stuff- from my past baggage, to the decision of the person I chose to marry, to my responses, reactions, attitudes and behaviors toward my spouse. Oftentimes in life we make choices but fail to take responsibility. But in marriage, there is another human being rubbing up against me at all times silently reminding me of those choices just by their presence in my life, and at times, that can cause friction. But that very same friction is what files down my rough edges, forcing me to take responsibility for my life. My choices no longer simply impact me, they impact my husband, and my children. Too many times in life we don’t want to take ownership of our stuff. It’s easy to dodge responsibility when there’s no one to call us out. We want a free pass and we blame everything on the other person. But marriage forces me to see that there are always two people involved, and we each have to take responsibility. I am 100 times better than the person I was when we got married, because I have been sharpened and refined by the discipline of learning to take responsibility.

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4. Because marriage, done right, brings the greatest blessings known to man.

Oftentimes, we struggle so much committing to relationships because we haven’t ever taken the time to commit to ourselves. We get so caught up in trying to find the right one- that we LOSE ourselves and our God-given identity in the process. We’re plagued with confusion, doubt and guilt. And worst of all, we’re driven by fear: fear of commitment, fear of failure, fear of abandonment, and fear of being alone.  And because of this, we end up in relationships that were never good for us to begin with. But understanding the kind of person who fits into our story, requires us to first understand our story.

Marriage can be done right, but it first requires us to answer some hard questions: Who are we, and where are we going? Where did we come from, and what parts of our lives are in need of healing? We go into relationships with so much baggage and pain to begin with, hoping that our pain will dissolve in the arms of another. But relationships can’t heal our wounds. Only we can, with God’s help. Knowing ourselves is the first step in knowing what we need in a relationship. Relationships CAN be done right, but it requires us to look in, to look out, and to look up. It requires us to see the bigger picture of who are, in order to have an idea of where we’re going…and who might be able to come along.

When we go into marriage with these truths in mind, we get to experience the joys of marriage along the way. We’re not there to simply RECEIVE from our spouse, but in fact, we’re freed to GIVE to our spouse. When we go into marriage with full hearts, we get to experience the ecstasy of REAL love. There is no greater joy than giving and receiving love out of our overflow, rather than out of our scarcity. There is no greater joy than being loved for who I am, not simply what I am bringing to the table. I choose marriage because even the hope of that kind of love is worth it every….single….day.

5. Because my marriage is so much bigger than you.

As a woman of faith, I realize that my marriage is not just about me. It’s so much bigger than me, and so much bigger than my husband. In marriage, you have the opportunity to learn so much about life, love, and God. There is a reason that God uses the analogy of marriage to describe his love for his people. It’s because in marriage we get a glimpse of a love that’s far bigger than us. Our deep love for one another reflects a universal need for love, for commitment, and for something and Someone greater than ourselves. Through marital love, we get a tiny glimpse of the great and unconditional love of God. Not only so, but my marriage is bigger than me because it impacts the world around me. There are many lives that are impacted by this one commitment between two people, most significantly the lives of our two precious children. At this stage of their lives, our marriage is the ONLY definition they get to see of love. Not only do we owe it to ourselves to live a life worthy of love, but we owe it to them. We owe it to them because how we reflect the giving and receiving of love, will impact generations to come.

Marriage is beautiful. Marriage is sacred. And marriage is totally worth it. For this reason, no matter what obstacles come my way, I choose to handle marriage, and if at all possible- so should you.

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Top Four Phrases Every Man Should Tell His Wife , No Questions Asked

These are the top four phrases a husband can say to his wife to put action behind the words, “I love you.”

1. “I thought about you today.” 

Your spouse wants to know that even in the middle of a stressful day at the office, during a business lunch, or on your way to meet with a client, she crossed your mind.

Letting your wife know you’re thinking about her is an easy way to communicate that she’s cherished. Not to mention the fact that, when it comes to Holly, the schoolboy part of me likes when she’s in the middle of my world.

2. “Let me watch the kids tonight. You deserve a break.” 

In two short sentences, you accomplish two big things. You give your wife valuable and much-needed time to herself. And you show her you respect what she does for your family.

Moms have a tough job—whether they work in the home or outside of the home.

Giving your wife some time alone will allow her to re-energize. Often, this puts Holly in a new space mentally and she comes home an even better mom and wife all because I put a little action behind my appreciation.

3. “Can I pray for you about that?”


We’ve all heard that our wives want a listener, not a fixer. But beyond this, I also believe our wives want a leader.

If your wife is overwhelmed by something, listen to her. Then, when she‘s done talking it through ask if you can pray for her. You might be shocked by the level of respect, trust and love that blossoms out of her heart for you. Don’t be shy. Step in and lead your wife in this area. You may feel awkward and hesitant at first, but trust me, she won’t care. And you’ll get better at it with time.

4. “I’m turning off my phone and computer for the night.” 

Woah. This one will blow your wife away.

This kind of focus is almost unheard of, but it’s a must in today’s world. Try to do this one night a week. Drop the distractions and make your family the main attraction. Watch how this small sacrifice will change your marriage.

It seems like, in marriage, the small things are the big things. Being intentional in the small things makes a path for big love. Small steps of loyalty and concern lead to lifelong commitment. Sweat the small stuff. It really does matter.


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10 Types Of Men Christian Women Should Never Marry

Often when a woman’s interests are sparked and feelings are flowing, she can get swept away and even lose sight of what is true. Yet, love doesn’t have to be blind. There’s no reason to settle for relationships that are unhealthy or even harmful.
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God cares about you. He cares about the one you marry. And you can trust He will give guidance or even some red flags to be aware of along the way.
10 Characteristics that Should Raise a Red Flag:
1. The Unbeliever
Marriage can be hard enough at times, add to that the pressure of deeper spiritual disconnect, and you may be in big trouble when the normal stressors of life occur. Missionary dating and marriage will be a road of extra struggle. If you hold vastly different spiritual beliefs now, don’t falsely assume you’ll get him to “turn around,” or change his ways later. It may happen, but it may not. Be careful not to settle for less than what God would want for the spiritual health and care of your marriage.
2 Cor. 6:14
2. The Abuser
– You are worth far too much to be abused by anyone. Ever. Move quickly away from anyone who brings you physical, verbal, or deep emotional harm. It’s not worth it to attach yourself to one who desperately needs help and freedom himself. You are not his saving grace. That is God’s work. Marriage is built on deep love and respect and this is most certainly no way to begin. See the warning signs for what they are. Believe you are valuable and precious to God. Say “no more” and move on.
Ps. 11:5   
3. The Addict
– This man needs freedom that can only come by admitting there’s a problem and seeking counseling, professional help, and the strength that God can bring. Addiction to alcohol, drugs, or pornography will lead to destruction. And though your relationship may seem to challenge him in the right direction, don’t be fooled that he’ll so quickly “give it all up for you,” without the aid and accountability of professional help. You are not the one to set him free and your role is not to try to change him. Only God can.
1 Cor. 6:12
4. The Narcissist
– If your boyfriend cares more about what he looks like in the mirror on any given day, than what you do, or can’t seem to get enough of his “greatness,” you may have trouble ahead. No matter how handsome, talented, and charming one may seem, marriage is built on the word “together.” If the relationship before marriage seems a bit one-sided, emphasis on “his side,” it may be destined for struggle. Your life should be greatly cherished by the man who calls you his wife. Humility, compassion, love, and respect towards others are much more admirable characteristics than simply the externals.
2 Tim. 3:2-5
5. The Controller
– What seems to be disguised early on as “I’m only trying to help,” can really be a deep need for control and a heart of jealousy. This man will dominate and strive to make every decision for you, decide who you should spend time or who you should no longer see. The one driven by control needs will have continual issues with whether he can “trust you.” Often, under the grasp of the controller, you may start to feel like you can hardly breath. It’s suffocating. It’s supposed to be, that’s how he holds you in his grasp. Be free. This is not your problem to fix. It’s God’s.
James 3:16
6. The Angry, Hot-tempered Man
– A man who cannot control his temper before you’re married, will most certainly be a man who cannot control his temper after you’re married. In most cases, it will worsen. No matter what our personality type, it still doesn’t give us room to plow over anyone in our pathway with harsh words and rants. Take time in different scenarios to see how he responds, especially under pressure. How does he act on the ball field? In traffic? When the waiter gets the order messed up? When the pressures mount at work? When you’re running late? The key is – does he realize it’s an area of weakness that he desires for God to help him change? If the answer is “no,” steer clear.
Prov. 22:24
7. The Man Still Tied to Mama
– We all love a man who loves his Mom. There is deep respect for those who care for and show love to their parents. Yet sometimes the lines get blurred. When the guy you’re dating still has every bill paid by his parents, they control every decision he makes, and he cares more about what Mama thinks than what you think – newsflash – struggle is ahead. One of the number one causes of divorce is relationship difficulty with in-laws. No family is perfect, but be sure you’re both on the same page when it comes to leaving, cleaving, and uniting as one. If there is trouble with drawing healthy boundaries before you’re married, there most definitely will be trouble later.
Matt. 19:5
8. The Flirt, Cheat, Tempter
– Behaviors established before marriage are not going to magically go away once you say “I do.” Sexual sin can be a deep trap of the enemy and once ensnared in these destructive patterns, they are difficult to break. The mistakes of the past should hold no control over our present and future. Watch for behaviors that signal trouble. Is he respectful to women? Does he flirt with your best friend or the waitress at dinner? Is he begging you to sleep with him? Red flag. Be careful that you have wisdom to see the true heart before you enter covenant relationship with one entrenched in sexual sin. You are worthy of respect, the one who loves you, will wait for you.
1 Cor. 6:18
9. The Liar
– Every marriage must be built on trust. Without this as a firm foundation, you’re in for trouble from the beginning. So what about those “little white lies” you started noticing along the way? In reality, there’s no such thing as little white lies. Any lie is meant to hide, deceive, or manipulate truth. There is no room for dishonesty in a healthy, loving relationship. It’s a dangerous trap and you will always be left wondering what he’s hiding.
Prov. 19:9
10. The One with Destructive Money or Work Habits
– If you’re supporting your boyfriend and paying for everything now – this may not change much later. Is he a hard worker? Does he have a job? Is he a workaholic? Does he have secretive spending habits? Addiction to gambling? Insurmountable debt? Once married, these patterns can worsen when the stressors of family life and responsibilities mount high. Money problems and financial struggles are one of the main causes of divorce. Have the discussions before you’re married. Decide upfront if the two of you can agree on the big issues.
Prov. 13:20
One truth – Nothing is impossible with God. Absolutely nothing. If you find these traits in one you love, or even in yourself, the hope is that He doesn’t leave us on our own to try to figure it all out. He brings help and healing for any situation.
There is no pit too deep, no road too far traveled that His love can’t reach us still. There are no bags from the past too big for Him to shoulder, and help us to unpack, one small piece at a time. He will not grow weary. He will never give up on us.
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5 Surprising Ways You May be Destroying Your Marriage

How does a once good marriage slip away?

Here are 5 ways a once good marriage slips away—or falls apart:

Other interests come between them.

It could be a relationship—even other good relationships—or a hobby, or work, but something gets a higher priority than the marriage. Distractions will destroy a good marriage.

Unresolved conflict.

Conflict left unattended sometimes sits like it never existed. But, oh, it did. And it does. Someone is holding on to it. Trust me. And the longer it sits, the deeper the wedge it causes.

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The couple stops dreaming together.

When a couple is dating they have lots of dreams together. They discuss their future. They dream about where they will live and travel. They dream about family and adventure. It’s an energy that fuels the relationship. When it stops. The fuel it brought stops.


This is one of the leading causes of marriages unraveling. Couples quit dating—quit laughing—quit having fun together. They get caught in the routines and busyness of life. Boredom sets in and the closeness they once shared begins to drift. The enemy love this, and suddenly one or both spouses seek excitement elsewhere. Dangerous.

Living separate agendas.

It’s okay to have separate identities. Even encouraged. It’s okay to have separate interests. It keeps things interesting. But it’s not okay to have separate agendas. The agenda should be two very different people blending those differences into one. When that’s not happening, the strength of the marriage will slowly—or quickly—fade.

I’m praying for your marriage—as I continue to pray for mine. Stand firm.


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What Does The Bible Have To Say About Dating? (Find Out)

Type the word “dating” into your bible search tool and what comes up? Nothing. When I was single, I remember wishing there was an entire book of the bible dedicated to the topic, or at least even a chapter. But though Scriptures are filled with foundational life-changing truths, there are still some topics that are left untouched when it comes to finding a biblical perspective.

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In fact, I have to chuckle to myself whenever someone asks me to give a “biblical” perspective on dating. Not only is there nothing said about the topic, but the concept of dating didn’t even exist in biblical times. Even today in the cultures of the Middle East, dating is a relatively new concept.

The modern-day concept of “dating” looked far different 2,000 years ago. The process of meeting a spouse had very little to do with compatibility and personality traits, and everything to do with family lineage and economic status. Finding a mate functioned a lot more like a bartering system than dinner and a movie. If we’re really serious about “biblical dating,” than our Friday night rendezvous at Starbucks would probably need to include our entire extended family, a dowry, and a couple hundred donkeys, goats, and sheep somewhere in the mix. I don’t know about you, but that sounds like a pretty awkward first date to me.


Though the bible doesn’t talk directly about dating, it does speak volumes about relationships, godly interactions, and principles that can be applied to how you date. In fact, a portion of my new book, True Love Dates (Zondervan, 2013), is dedicated to examining how to apply these principles to real-life situations. 1 Corinthians 10:31 reminds us that no matter what it is we’re doing; it can be used as a means to glorifying God. The bible makes it clear that life is less about the “do’s” and “don’ts” and so much more about doing what’s beneficial, healthy, and righteous (1 Corinthians 10:23). So what does that mean when it comes to dating? How can dating be done in a way that’s healthy and righteous?

1. Become a healthy person: The best way to have a healthy dating relationship is to become a healthy person. God’s word reminds us of the need for us to throw off the old baggage of sin, bad habits, and hang-ups – and to become new each and every single day (Ephesians 4:22-24). Becoming more like Christ sets us up for interactions with others that reflect love, healing, and wholeness. I don’t know about you, but I say that’s a step in the right direction when it comes to dating well.



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Here Is The Simple Truth About Love

The love message is the power of the Gospel. It’s so simple: Love God and love your neighbor as you love yourself. We often think we need someone to love us, but what we really need is someone to love. And the world is desperate for real love, so it isn’t hard to find someone who needs to be loved.

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We live in a society that drives people to selfishness. So much of the advertising we see and hear influences us to want more and more and to never be satisfied with what we have. But the more selfish and self-centered we are, the less power we have to do good and help others.

The good news is we have what we need in Christ to overcome a selfish, “What about me?!” mindset and lifestyle. We have the power of God’s love! It’s the answer to every dilemma and problem in our society today. And as Christians, our goal is to represent Christ in the world and show His love.

What Is True Love?

Love is not just a feeling, or a theory, or a nice word. It’s action – it’s the way you treat people, what you do for others. Love will always cost you something: time, energy, effort, money, giving up your pride, doing what’s right when you don’t feel like it, keeping a good attitude when you don’t get your way.
Loving the way God loves means you love when there’s nothing in it for you; it’s all about giving out and not expecting anything in return. We’re called to outreach, not in-reach. Real love is about dying to self and living to love others.

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Before you can love others, you have to experience God’s love in your own life, because you can’t give away something you don’t have. Then you have to be willing to ask God to teach you to love the way He loves. When you do this, God will enable you to reach out and help someone else. I know this works because I’ve lived it.

Live to Love!

I used to be selfish, self-centered, always thinking about how I could get my way. And I was miserable. See, I loved God and wanted to love people, but no matter how hard I tried to be sweet and nice to everybody, all of my trying was getting me nowhere. I was cranky, hard to get along with and impatient. God showed me the problem was that I didn’t like myself because of the shame of my past. I grew up in an abusive home, and I felt guilty, condemned and ashamed because of it. I had to accept God’s love for me before I could love anyone else.

So I decided to study God’s love in the Word, pray for God to change my heart, and confess what His Word says about His love for me. Every day I would say out loud, “God loves me,” and I would say it over and over to purposely keep this truth in my heart throughout the day. After a year of doing this, I finally got a revelation about God’s love for me.

Now I am able to receive God’s love and love others the way Jesus taught us to love. I don’t do it perfectly all the time, but I’ve come a long way and am making progress every day. My prayer is, “God, show me how I can help others. Make me a blessing everywhere I go. I want to live to love You and others.”

In my personal life, I try to make it my business to add value to everybody I come in contact with. I can honestly say that learning how to love others with God’s love has made me the happiest I’ve ever been. The truth is you can’t be selfish and be happy or have peace.

Make it your goal each day to pursue God’s love and then give it away. First Corinthians 14:1 (AMP) says to “eagerly pursue and seek to acquire [this] love [make it your aim, your great quest].” So go after it with all your might, and ask God to make you a blessing everywhere you go. You can do something to help someone. You can live to love, just like Jesus.

Pastor Joyce Meyer

Kenya Gospel News

5 Amazing Things All Wives Should Know About Their Husbands

Whether you recently said “I do” or just celebrated a double-digit anniversary, you can probably spout off a lot of info about your husband-his middle name, where he was born and his favorite food.


Knowing only this is certainly not enough here are 5 surprising things that all women should know about their husbands in order as to have a great relationship.

man and woman stressed 1

1. Which Topics Set Him Off

Maybe it’s talking about his mom’s flavorless cooking-or his late nights at work .it’s important to know where the emotional landmines are. If you step on one, you can expect an explosion. But you can’t avoid all “hot topics.” Find the right space and time to talk about these issues. Plus, try to understand your husband’s side, and then approach him in a non-threatening way.

2.  How (and When) to Be His Support System

Couples who say they have strong spousal support and face daily stress have 50% higher rates of marriage satisfaction according to study. While wives equate affection and warmth with support, husbands feel supported when they’re appreciated, needed and receiving offers to help with errands.

3. How He Views His Role as Husband and Father

Whether it’s just you two or you plus kids, you and your husband have equally important family roles. And it’s vital that you recognize how he views his part and respect it.  Fight the urge to cast your husband into specific parts without his input. And keep in mind that you don’t always have to be in sync with parenting. “Differences in temperament and style are key to parents’ success and the enjoyment of parenting.”

4. What His Dream Job (or Vacation or Car) Is

It’s easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of day-to-day life, but happy couples discuss each other’s hopes and dreams to build . Find out his career goals for the next few years-or just hear about his favorite book, TV show or food of the moment. Then, reciprocate by telling him more about you. Communication helps you grow with each other instead of apart

5.  That You Don’t Know Everything About Him

No matter how much you communicate with your husband, you can never completely know him, and that’s OK. “It’s never good to believe you know anything about your partner for sure and therefore not ask



A Surprise Wedding!! A Man Proposes And Marries His Girlfriend On The Same Day

This is one of the those weddings that you say what a wedding!!

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Now a young christian man did an amazing thing when he proposed to his loving girlfriend on the same day.

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Ryan Leak proposed to his girlfriend. The amazing thing is that his girlfriend dream was to get engaged and married on the same day, and so later on one night Ryan had planned her surprise dream wedding.

This is how it all happened.

1) Ryan Leake proposed to Amanda Roman 5 years after their first date.

2) He also decided to tell her that he loved her for the first time that day because, “I didn’t want to use that phrase until I felt like I could back it up with every fiber of my being.”

3) Leake stalked her Pinterest account to design the wedding exactly as she had planned it.

4) The glue of their relationship as defined by Leake: “What makes us tick, what makes us go, is Jesus Christ! There’s no doubt about it.

5) Check out the fantastic prayer at the end.


Mmh?? How To Make A Girl Date You Through The BIBLE

This one caught my mind when I was scrolling my time line and Boy!! now we can share if this can work or not.

BOY: Do you have a boyfriend?
GIRL: Nope, i don’t have one.

BOY: Gen 2:18 “The lord God said, it is not good for a man to be alone, i wil make a helper suitable for him

GIRL: “But i don’t love you

BOY: 1 John 4:8 whoever does not love,does not know God, because God is love.

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GIRL: & how do i know you mean those words?

BOY: Mathew 12:34 for out of the abundance of the hearth mouth speaks.

GIRL: but how can i be sure that you’re loyal& honest?

BOY: Mark 13:31 “heaven & earth will pass away but my words will never pass away

GIRL: But why me? There are alot of girls out there

BOY: Proverbs 31:29 “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.

GIRL: But what is in me that yu like?

BOY: Song of solomon 4:7 “you are altogether beautiful, my darling there is no flaw in you”

GIRL: But i’m not all that beautiful you’re exaggerating

BOY: Proverbs 31:30 “chram is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised

GIRL: What happens if i say yes.

BOY: Genesis 2:24 “Therefore man shall leave his father and his mother & they shall become one flesh

GIRL: How come you know the scriptures this much

BOY: Joshua 1;8 This book of law shall not depart from your mouth but you shall meditate on it day & night so that you may be careful to do all that is written in it. For then you make your way prosperous and you will have good succes”

GIRL: Woow, I can see you really love God

BOY: Psalm 34:8 oh, taste and see that lord is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.

GIRL: mmm. Ok please give time to think about it

BOY: Philipian 4:8 “finally brethren, whatever is true, whatever honourable, whatever is just, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise think about this thing

GIRL: oww I love you already

BOY: Revelation 22:21 “Amen”
GIRL: plz marry me now

Kenya Gospel News News

10 Qualities Women Look Out For In A Man

It appears that most men while dating a woman do not take time to note what exactly their woman wants from them. Well it is important to treat your woman well in order to have a healthy and long-lasting relationship .

what women want in a man

Here are  10 qualities women look out for in a man.

1. Respect

A good man who accepts them for who they are and respects their feelings while having your own respected in return.

2. Confidence

A good man who is confident in every way, stands by what he believes and maintains his values. Nobody wants to be with someone who is sarcastic and cynical all of the time.

3. Strength

A good man who is strong and possesses the strength to overcome his negative thoughts.

4. Chivalry

A good man who knows how to treat a lady well, but isn’t a pushover.

5. Independence

A man who is capable and independent, able to make his own decisions, pay his rent, and cook dinner for himself.

6. Looks

A man who tries to keep himself well-groomed, wears clothes that fit and at least makes an effort to keep himself in shape

7. Communication

A man who can express himself and who is at least willing to listen to them when they talk about their concerns, hopes and desires

8. Intelligence

A man with a high sociable I.Q. and can carry on a decent conversation with her friends and family.

9. Passion

A man who can show a woman he’s passionate about things in life.

10. Humor

A man with a good sense of humor who understands the importance of making women laugh.

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