- What is an abuse.
- Avoid early death and old age
- Accept and move on.
- Causes of abusive relationships.
- Solutions to walking out of them.
An abuse is the use of something in a way that is wrong or harmful. An abusive relationship is a kind of union whereby one person suffers the most instead of gaining or benefiting from the relationship itself. An abusive relationship is never healthy since it can lead to cases of stigmatization, death, suicide, fear, low self esteem and loss of hope.
Some of the reasons why some people stay in such like relationships are because of poverty, religious beliefs, single parenthood, embarrassment, pressure and believing it is normal. However one should walk out of an abusive relationship because at the end of the day you need to protect your future. Will you die by leaving the relationship or will you like to take the risk ?
Avoid your early death by loving and respecting yourself then others will.
Many couples love complaining that the opposite partner has weaknesses that cannot be solved or maybe they have just refused to change. If an abuse becomes a habit, it will be very difficult to stop it. The best thing to do is walk out.
Forms of abuse include : emotional, financial and physical abuse. One major factor that causes these to take place is the act of being desperate and you feel like it is your partner alone that can work out solutions for you. You fear your friends knowing that a celebrity is slapping you everyday and your excuse for your red cheeks that used to be moist are that the kind of facial creams you use nowadays are expired! You are being abused.
Causes of abusive relationships start with a small misunderstanding that later develop to arguments and comparison of intelligence based on matters education, one starts feeling disrespected yet expects to be obeyed. It is also caused by dictatorship and family backgrounds. Abusive relationships cannot be treated they can be managed by simply loving yourself and going your way. It is also noted that in today’s world both parties are involved: Men and Women. The following are steps on how to quit an abusive relationship:
1.ACCEPT YOU ARE BEING ABUSED.
The most important thing in life is to always admit that there are things which you cannot handle or manage. They are just beyond your control and no matter how much you have struggled with them, you do not see your hard work bearing fruit. Accepting that you have a weakness helps you to know more about yourself and professionals will help you out. Accept that you are being abused and you have no say over it.
2. LET YOUR PARTNER KNOW.
Bring it to their attention that you have been patient enough with him or her and can no longer take it. If he is the kind of furious person, hide and disappear, go to a far place maybe to one of your strict family members house that he cannot reach or fear seeing. The world is nowadays digital and you can block his contacts from your mobile phones. Deny him any chances of seeing you or meeting you because he can convince you to come back. If he is the changing kind of a guy make sure you distance yourself from him and see if he is willing to change.
3. LET YOUR CLOSE FAMILY OR FRIENDS KNOW.
There must be that one or two persons that you can share your secrets with in your life. Find them and explain your situation. Listen to their genuine advice and weigh what is best for you. Of course the caring ones will tell you to leave and find another option. If some tell you to stay it will be for the obvious reason to weigh your partner and give him time. Be wise.
4. CALL IT QUITS.
You have a bright future ahead, do not allow him or her to frustrate you because he or she is well off. Never be controlled by abuse. It is the worse feeling ever. Do not make him feel like he owns you and you cannot do without him. If for sure your life is in God’s hand and man cannot determine your destiny. It was never meant to be so don’t go on forcing it in the name of ”lets give it a try once again”, because you are giving yourself physical torture and the sooner you realize it, you are worn out and old. People will start walking away from you.
Most people fear moving on with life. Forget about the luxurious wedding you did and how it made news in the TV, whether he was a celebrity or not, how will you manage it financially without him?, that shame of going back to your mother’s house and your community making you the gossip of the year, don’t forget the church will talk. So? Will they talk forever or are you the first one to go back to your family? Face the Goliath and God will also help you. Be courageous, read the Bible, change your church if you cannot manage the stigmatization and sleep a lot. Go close to funny friends who can crack your ribs, laugh laugh laugh.
6. GIVE YOURSELF TIME.
Don’t be so rushy with another relationship or commitment. You can have as many male friends as you want who can give you moral support but don’t be so easy to give them your heart. Study him critically and be honest with yourself. Don’t be carried out by simple surprises that happen when the sun rises but when the sun sets they are no more. Have a walk with God and let him control your emotions. Talk little and listen keenly to advices from your parents. Lastly listen to your right conscious and the voice of the Holy spirit.
7. EXPERIENCE IS THE BEST TEACHER.
Listen frequently to stories from people who have gone through the same ordeal because truth be told you are not the first neither the last to have faced such an experience. However, don’t be surprised that yours was a minor occurrence and theirs big ones. We get encouraged by our friends’ problems since we realize ours were at least than theirs. Surprisingly you will one day be encouraging another person on the same. The next time you engage into another relationship you will be well informed.
8. GET A LIFE.
Forget about him, that he ever existed and broke your heart or tortured you. Forgive and forget, pray for him or her, and leave revenge to God. You will realize that with time you have fully recovered and you no longer suffer jealousy at the thought that he may be dating someone else since it is none of your business you get to sympathize with the next person your ex torturer is currently dating. There must be that one special person who can make you happy. Joy comes in the morning and life must continue.
9. THANK GOD.
There are some things that human beings don’t understand why God let them happen. It is at such times that people question God a lot and even doubt if he ever exists and if he does why go through hell on earth? Well with time you have learnt that God had a reason and that ,man was never yours and you have to let go. The best part of it is when light comes into your eyes and it is dawning in you that men are not the same. Anyway such like things makes you strong in life and you emerge to be victorious.
10. HAPPY ENDING.
It is high time that you one day met your former abruptly all of a sudden. Don’t get shocked how he has lost weight. He sees you with your new guy and how your life has improved and he is like is this for real? Yes it is for real because he was just a path you had to path by to your destiny. Also known as preparing way for the coming Messiah!!! You feel refreshed and ready to face life again this time more careful and charged up. Don’t forget, self respect is paramount.